


My Sweetest Downfall

by sparkinside (boomersoonerash)



Series: 52 Weeks of Stories 2 [18]
Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluid Sexuality, Heterosexual Sex, Holidays, LGBTQ Character, Married Couple, Married Life, Married Sex, New Year's Eve, Past Relationship(s), Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Sexual Content, Smut, Vaginal Sex, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-24
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2019-09-26 01:31:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17132483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boomersoonerash/pseuds/sparkinside
Summary: Sometimes maybe your soulmate is never meant to be your last true love...or so Avery finds out the hard way.





	1. You give me something to sleep to at night

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Bump in the night
> 
> I wanted to share this when it was all finished but idk when it will be haha.
> 
> Also yes the OC's are characters from Weightless and some of what is mentioned here may get used in Weightless, then again it may not and I may just be writing this for my own guilty pleasures because I love that verse so much hahaha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Avery jumped slightly as she heard a bump in the night from downstairs and she told herself she was just being crazy. She was a newlywed at home alone for the first time since her wedding three months ago and she was freaking out. This was natural when your spouse was on the road a lot and you were home by yourself.

Though as she rested a hand on the swell of her sixth month abdomen she knew she wouldn't be home alone for long. Soon she'd have a baby and at least then with every bump in the night she could worry about her and the baby instead of just herself.

It made her seem less vain then.

Hearing the noise again Avery heaved a sigh as she worked to get out of bed, deciding she needed to at least check. Make sure no one was in the house but what would she do if there was? It wasn't like she or her partner kept weapons in the house. They weren't like Zac, bless his heart who loved guns.

But maybe she could call Zac he was only an hour away...maybe less if she told him she was worried someone had broken into the house. He already loved to speed and she was sure if he feared that his favorite sister and her unborn child were in trouble that he'd break every traffic law known to man to get from Tulsa to Oklahoma City where she still was for now.

Though once the baby was here she and her spouse did plan to move. They were going to buy a condo in New York, after all she had graduated college now and there was nothing keeping her here in Oklahoma minus her family. Some of whom she'd made amends with since coming out as not entirely straight years ago.

Most of them were in her life to a degree though her mother still refused to budge which meant her dad was only allowed to see or speak to her on Diana Hanson's terms. Her father having missed her wedding because of it even which meant Zac had to walk her down the aisle in his place.

But Avery had emailed him pictures and he'd wished her well in married life as well as becoming a mother because of course she had been pregnant when she got married. She may have been the Hanson who broke a lot of rules but it seemed she had to keep one tradition at least.

Be pregnant when you got married.

Making it out of her bedroom, Avery closed her eyes when she heard a noise from the kitchen again. Her hand getting just a bit tighter on her stomach protectively because if someone was in her house of course she'd die trying to protect her unborn child. It was just how things were now.

"You can do this Avie," Avery told herself as she slowly walked down the stairs. "It's just the house settling, stop being so scared," she muttered softly as she made her legs continue to move. Her hand never once leaving her stomach as she did so.

Once she made it to the bottom of the stairs Avery slowly walked towards the kitchen, flipping the light on when she made it there and once it was on she jumped some and let out a tiny scream when she saw a person in her kitchen. Though her fear seemed to subside when the person started to laugh and she got a good look at them.

"Ethan?!" she asked with a look of disbelief on her face. "What in the ever loving fuck? Are you trying to cause me to go into early labor?" she questioned him before walking a bit farther into the kitchen now. Only then noting his suitcase by the back door.

"You weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow."

Ethan shrugged as he met her half way, one of his hands coming to rest on her belly, "What can I say, I got done early with what I had to do in New York and I decided to hop on the first flight back home and surprise my lovely wife."

"Oh you surprised me alright," Avery teased with a shake of her head. "You're just lucky I didn't call Zac which I thought of doing. Tell him I thought an intruder was in the house."

"He'd have killed me," Ethan stated as he leaned in to leave a kiss on her forehead. "Then you'd be a widow all alone raising our daughter."

"Or son," Avery told him with a tiny smile because they had refrained from finding out the gender. Both wanting to be surprised. "But I'm pretty sure if Zac was going to kill you he'd have done it a long time ago," she said as she pulled away from his embrace, walking to the table to sit down just for a few minutes.

Though she feared once she was down she'd never get back up.

Ethan once again shrugged as he moved to lean against a counter, "Sometimes I think he still wants too," he said which surprised Avery. "I mean I'm not the person he'd rather you be married too and spending the rest of your life with."

Falling silent Avery only frowned because she knew he was referring to Paisley. Ethan wasn't Paisley and he feared some people in her family, mainly Zac and Mac resented him for that. Though she wasn't sure they did even if both of them were still close to Paisley now.

Both of them knew she and Paisley had tried to make it work. Things had just fallen apart between them.

"Zac understands what happened E," Avery spoke finally. "I think he is perfectly fine with who I've chosen to spend my life with. I've been with you for two years now and I've been your wife for three months. We're having a baby and if he isn't fine he'll just have to live. He has lived with other mistakes I've made," she told him with a sigh of her own.

Her brain telling her that Ethan was wrong but even if he wasn't Zac knew better than to be a pain in the ass about the decisions she made with her love life. Everyone seemed to be learning how not to do that, leaving that one up to their mom.

***

_Avery smiled as she looked over at Paisley, the both of them getting ready to ring in 2016 together in their new home. A home where they were hosting friends and family tonight because what better way to break in a home then to have a celebration in it. Especially a celebration for a new beginning._

_A new year and a new chapter and everything made Avery happy to think about it._

_"You nervous?" Avery asked as she watched Paisley grab the last dish they had baked out of the oven. "I mean this is your first official holiday gathering with a majority of my family were we are both out as a couple and not hiding," she said knowing that Fourth of July in 2008 hadn't counted._

_Avery had been in the closet and they couldn't be free to be them but now they could be and most of her family was coming. Isaac and Nikki had gotten a sitter for the kids and had agreed to come. Jessica was coming which surprised her because she was as against Avery as their own mother had been but maybe Zoe had worked on her after Zoe's visit to Oklahoma City in 2014._

_After all Avery and Zoe had reconciled and Zoe had even stood up to their mom a few days after that. Avery never having felt prouder for Zoe than when she heard of what her sister had done._

_Which was why Avery was glad that Zac and Kate were bringing Zoe along with their children, tonight. She hadn't seen Zoe since that visit and she did miss her sister even if they did keep up on social media and via texts. It just wasn't the same as in person._

_Not to mention Zoe would be the last of her siblings to see her new house. Her brothers having seen it last month when they had helped Avery and Paisley move in, which was why Avery wasn't too heartbroken Mac was missing tonight. Supposedly he was spending it with his ex who'd just gotten divorced._

_Said he wanted to see her and her son but Avery suspected there was more to it, she just didn't want to say anything. If there were things Mac needed to tell her or anyone else in the family he'd do it in his own time._

_Taylor also wasn't coming but she wasn't shocked by that. Natalie could still be a bit torn between where her allegiances were when it came to Avery and Diana and Avery understood Taylor not wanting to push things. He had five kids with Natalie and he had to keep the peace for them and himself._

_"Not really," Paisley spoke bringing Avery out of her thoughts. "I spend everyday with you almost so I'm used to Hanson drama of any kind," she teased as she winked at Avery. "I think I'm more nervous about you having two of your exes here," she revealed and Avery knew she should have been shocked but she wasn't._

_Of course Paisley would have an issue with Ethan and Cordelia coming tonight but Avery had always been friendly with Ethan even before they had dated seriously and well she and Cordelia were trying to be friends again after reconnecting at Juniper's baby shower._

_It helped that Cordelia had moved on and was even married to Jane. Had married the ex she had cheated on Avery with just this Valentine's day in a ceremony in Hawaii._

_Of course Avery and Paisley hadn't went but Avery had sent a congratulations card via Juniper and Calliope. It only seemed right and another step in the trying to be friends thing again._

_"Cordelia's married," Avery reminded Paisley. "And Ethan's been dating this girl Kim for a year now. I think he is pretty serious too," she added on though with Ethan she wasn't sure._

_She knew besides her he'd ever only been serious with his first love Gideon and that had crashed and burned pretty badly. But if he was dating someone for a year then it had to be serious._

_"I know," Paisley sighed as she shook her head. "I'm just...I guess I'm worried okay. Things are going so well for us that I'm waiting for a shoe to drop or something," she stated like she almost expected one to drop. Something that left a bad taste in Avery's mouth._

_"Nothing is going to happen," Avery told her with a shake of her head as she walked to where Paisley was. Letting her arms go around the other woman's waist. "I love you and we finally have our forever home together and we're engaged to be married," she said reminding her of the ring Avery now wore on her finger._

_The one Paisley had given her at Christmas time._

_"Nothing can ruin what we have."_

***

Laying in bed with Ethan later that night, Avery turned to face him, unable to drift off to sleep yet and she knew from the way Ethan was breathing that he wasn't asleep. She'd learned to tell his awake and asleep breathing years ago, way back in 2010 when they had first became serious and dated for two years then.

The both of them just easily going into sharing a bed with each other and after so long of sharing a bed with someone you just ended up knowing their breathing patterns or at least she did.

Maybe it was a weird Hanson thing or just a weird Avery thing, she wasn't sure.

"What made you bring Paisley up tonight?" Avery asked him softly watching with what little moonlight that she could as Ethan opened his eyes, giving her a confused look. "I mean I know you probably worry about Zac all the time and what he thinks of you since he and Paisley are still close but you never mention it. What made you do it tonight?" she asked him as she moved a bit closer, letting her hand move up to brush some hair out of his face.

Still not used to his short hair and always praying that one day he'd let it get long again. It'd been long when she first fell in love with him and that was the Ethan who'd won her heart. Though short haired Ethan still had her heart. Always would.

"I ran into her in New York," Ethan admitted sheepishly. "I guess she and I are always doomed to have the same set of friends. It happened in Los Angeles and it happens in New York," he laughed like he found it ironic and if Avery knew her husband he probably did. "She's dating a woman who works for a music magazine there. They met when they hired Paisley to be a photographer for the magazine and I guess seeing her with her new girlfriend made me think that it could be her here in this house with you still. She could be the one you're married too and having a child with."

"But she isn't," Avery said after a few minutes of silence, taking in the fact that Paisley had moved on and found love again. It was fair and what she deserved. "You're the person I'm married to and having a baby with and I wouldn't change this E," she told him before leaning in to kiss him on the lips softly.

A part of her hoping that he knew she meant her words. She wouldn't change where she was now in her life, this was what she wanted. Maybe this was always meant to be the future she was supposed to have regardless of how seventeen year old her had seen things.

Seventeen year old her had been naive and hadn't met Ethan yet. Hadn't experienced a relationship with him and how much that had changed her as a person. Made her want to break old habits she had kept creating with Paisley.

***

_"There you are, it's almost midnight and I've been looking everywhere for you," Paisley said as she slipped outside onto the back porch._

_Avery turning at the sound of her fiancee's voice a blush coating her cheeks, "Sorry, I just needed to come outside and get some air," she admitted and it was a half truth. She did need air but only because she was angry._

_She had gotten angry so she had stormed off and ran outside like a petulant child instead of the grown woman she was. It really was unbecoming of her she realized._

_"Any reason you needed air?" Paisley asked as she walked to where Avery was, leaning against the rail of the porch. Paisley's arm sliding around her waist. "You look like something is bothering you."_

_"Something is bothering me," Avery frowned as she looked away from Paisley. "Ethan told me he plans to ask Kim to marry him once they get back to California. He's going to marry her."_

_"And that would be a bad thing why, Avie?"_

_At Paisley's question, Avery swallowed hard, "Can't you see it with them?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "They aren't right together. When he looks at her and smiles his eyes don't light up like they should if she is the one. He can't marry someone who isn't the one for him."_

_Paisley shook her head at Avery's words, "I'm sorry I'm not an expert in Ethan," she said and there was a hint of something Avery couldn't identify in Paisley's words. "So I don't know what you mean about a light in his eyes."_

_"It's there," Avery said not ever sure how to explain it. "It's just they shine so much more and look so much more alive when he is around someone who is the one and they don't do that with Kim. I mean Kim seems nice enough but Ethan will just be settling with her and that makes me so angry," she muttered out as she shook her head. "That and he seems okay with settling. He said as much when I called him out on it before coming out here. He is okay with settling because he feels like everyone he has thought was the one has left him," she continued not revealing that everyone only consisted of her and Gideon._

_She wasn't sure Paisley would like to know that Ethan once saw her as the one he would settle down and marry. The one he'd raise babies with and grow old with._

_Listening as Paisley sighed, Avery felt her move her arm from her waist. Avery frowning because she missed the contact from her fiancee. Missed having Paisley's arm around her waist._

_"I know I've never asked how serious things were between you and Ethan, to be honest I never wanted to know because I've always been insecure when it came to him. The one guy who can make you attracted to them but I feel like I need to ask this right now. How serious were things with you and Ethan?" Paisley questioned finally taking a breath once everything had been said._

_Her question making Avery go silent for what felt like ages. It wasn't a question she expected nor was it one she felt sure she should answer but she didn't see the use in lying to Paisley. She had made a promise to stop lying to her when they had gotten back together in 2013 so why would she start lying to her now?_

_Taking a deep breath, Avery brushed some hair out of her face before answering. "We were pretty serious Pai," she said softly as she looked down at the engagement ring Paisley had given her. "When I was with him I got pregnant. It was an accident but I mean we weren't using protection so how much of an accident could it have been, right? But anyway it was at a point where we weren't seeing eye to eye, he wanted more of a commitment from than I wanted to give him. He wanted a baby and to one day marry me and I didn't want that. I could still only see that with you but once I knew I was pregnant by him it was like something had changed. I could see that future he wanted and so when he asked me to marry him once he knew I was pregnant I said yes. I was going to marry Ethan but then four weeks after finding out I was pregnant I lost the baby and we never really came back from that loss. He went away on tour and we stopped communicating and saying what we really needed to say to each other."_

_"Then I came into the picture again," Paisley said saying what Avery had been thinking. "I showed up and the press saw us together. Thought you were cheating on him which lead to him cheating on you. Then you dumped him."_

_Avery nodded her head as she looked back up at Paisley, "Yeah that would be the gist of it," she confirmed. "I know I should have..I mean I could have told you then we were engaged but when you came back it wasn't like things were the best and then he cheated and we weren't engaged and you never asked. You just comforted me and we became us again and I closed that chapter of my life. But Ethan...he was the first real healthy relationship I had in ways, at least until the end I mean," she frowned because deep down she knew up until this second chance with Paisley even they hadn't been healthy._

_How could they have been when she was Paisley's other woman when Paisley had been with Sloan. What happened in 2008 had hurt them and ruined them for years and it took time away from each other to fix that._

_Time in which she had fallen in love with Ethan. Allowed herself to see another future for herself. One in which she had been Ethan's wife and they had babies and the life she had once solely saw herself having with Paisley._

_After her admission things once again went silent between her and Paisley. Avery knowing from the look on Paisley's face that she was thinking things and she wished she could get in her head. Know what she was thinking or she wished Paisley would just tell her what she was thinking._

_But instead neither of them talked. The silence between them being filled with the countdown from inside their house and when the countdown reached the end neither of them even made a move to kiss each other._

_It was like what Avery had said had opened a can of worms and now everything was heavy between them._


	2. Hold me tight like your past

_Waking the next morning after her talk with Paisley, Avery smiled as she saw Paisley still asleep beside her and Avery decided to let her sleep. She needed it, after all things had been busy lately for them with the move to this house and also Paisley's job as a photographer had picked up around the Holiday's as well._

_There had been so many couples in Oklahoma City who wanted to have family portraits done for cards or just done period and so Paisley had been busy with that as well as moving and yeah, Paisley deserved the sleep._

_That and last night after their conversation things had been weird between them. They hadn't even kissed at New Years and then after the countdown they had both slipped inside the house and put on a front like everything had been okay but everything wasn't and hadn't been okay._

_Avery knew as much every time she saw Paisley looking at Ethan with a glare. Which Avery thought wasn't fair because she wasn't still in love with Ethan. Yes, she loved him but loving someone and being in love with someone were different things and didn't Paisley see that?_

_Didn't Paisley know that Avery was in love with her no matter how much she had fallen in love with Ethan in the past. That part of her life was closed and the chapter ended. She'd moved on and found love with someone who was a good fit for her now and Ethan deserved to find that too._

_Unfortunately she still didn't think that was Kim but she was too pissed at Ethan from last night herself to bring that up again. Figured he would refuse to budge like he had last night._

_Slipping out of bed Avery reached for her phone which was laying on the nightstand on her side of the bed. Turning it on as she left the room and headed downstairs to fix herself coffee before doing anything else to get ready for the day._

_Knowing if she didn't have coffee in her system there wouldn't be any doing anything today because she just couldn't function without her coffee._

_As she turned her phone on and entered the pass code she was a bit surprised to see a text from Ethan. One sent this morning because of course he awoke before she had. He'd always seemed to have that habit or he'd actually acquired it after the first few months of actual fame when he'd been so busy._

_He'd always said becoming famous had made him learn to be a morning person. It was something that hadn't been learned by her brothers or at least not by Zac._

_Opening the text from Ethan, Avery chewed on her lip as she read it._

**_Hey, I'm sorry about how things went last night. Can we meet up for lunch today and talk. I'll be civil this time if you want to broach the subject of Kim._ **

_Avery let out a sigh knowing she should say no to him. She was still upset about last night and how he had disregarding what she had said and the concerns she had but he had apologized and couldn't that be enough?_

_Before she could even second guess herself she typed out a reply._

**_Sure E. Just tell me when and where and I'll be there. You have to promise you won't get mad at me though when I do broach the subject of Kim so please keep your word on being civil._ **

**_You have my word Ave. I'll let you decide the time and place though. I know how picky women can be with where they want to eat and lord knows I don't need you angry with me for choosing the wrong place._ **

**_Very funny E. But I'll text you a place after I get some coffee in me and fully wake up._ **

_After sending the last text to Ethan, Avery let out a small sigh as she walked to the coffee pot and began to prepare her coffee. A tiny part of her now beginning to second guess the decisions she had made but she was going to do her best to ignore that part. She and Ethan were friends and they could meet up to talk but it wasn't that part that bothered her._

_What bothered her was what Paisley would say if she knew. Especially with all Avery had told her last night about how serious things had been with Ethan._

***

"Do you dislike Ethan?" Avery asked Zac as she sat across from him at lunch a week later. Her conversation with Ethan still on her mind. 

Zac who had swallowed his bite of sandwich looked at Avery with a skeptical look, "I'm sure if I disliked Ethan I wouldn't have even come to your wedding but I did and I gave you away Avie baby," he smiled and Avery rolled her eyes at the use of that damned nickname.

She loved and hated it but she was sure Zac didn't care about her love/hate relationship with it. To him she'd always be Avie baby and he'd always call her that.

"Why are you asking me that anyway?"

Heaving a sigh Avery blushed as her mind went back to her conversation with Ethan yet again and she wondered if maybe she should have just kept her mouth shut. Zac was right if he had disliked Ethan he wouldn't have walked her down the aisle and gave her away at her wedding. But he had and that had to prove something.

"Ethan was in New York last week, you know looking at places since we're moving there and he ran into Paisley," she shrugged as she took another bite of her food to briefly distract herself from talking. "I guess seeing her reminded him of how close you were and maybe still are to Paisley," she said after she had swallowed her food.

Nodding his head Zac looked at her as if he was contemplating or trying to understand what she was saying. 

"He's just afraid you don't really like him I guess and that you are only putting up with him because of me," she explained hoping that made more sense for Zac.

Zac shook his head then, "He has nothing to worry about. I'm not putting up with him," he told her and as Avery look at him she saw the sincerity in his eyes.

She knew then he was telling the truth and she hoped soon enough Ethan would realize that himself.

"I tried telling him that," Avery said with a small smile. "You know how men can be since you're one. He was all stubborn about it and still thinks what he thinks."

"Yeah, yeah," Zac muttered teasingly with a roll of his eyes. "If it helps I can talk to him the next time I see him."

Avery pursed her lips at that, not sure if it would help or make things worse. "You can try," she told him because maybe trying wouldn't be too bad. "It wouldn't hurt."

"Then I'll do that. Anything to prove to your husband that I don't hate him regardless of how close I am to Pai," Zac said confirming what Avery knew and suspected. Zac still kept in contact with her ex.

"Good," Avery smiled feeling a little better after Zac's words.

***

_"So where are you going all dressed up?" Paisley questioned as Avery walked into the kitchen after she had showered and gotten ready for the day. Her coffee from earlier having given her the strength to keep going._

_Thank god for coffee in her opinion. It was a gift from the Lord, really, even if some people refused to drink the good gift that the Lord provided._

_Swallowing hard at Paisley's words Avery almost wished her girlfriend was back in bed, because she wasn't sure how she was going to tell her she was meeting Ethan for lunch. Deep down she feared once she did it would cause an argument and the last thing she needed or wanted was an argument with the woman she loved._

_"I'm having lunch with a friend," she opted to say as she did her best to avoid Paisley's gaze but she was sure that was enough to give away who she was having lunch with._

_Paisley wasn't stupid and she'd see through what Avery was doing and know who the friend was._

_"You're having lunch with Ethan then?" Paisley asked after a moment of silence and Avery knew her question sounded more like a statement. Paisley already knew it was Ethan, she just wanted confirmation._

_Nodding her head Avery kept her gaze off Paisley, "I'm having lunch with Ethan," she confirmed hating the way she was afraid after she said those words._

_Afraid of an argument she feared would come after all that Avery had confessed last night. After all it had changed things between them so fast and she knew sooner or later they'd talk about it and it may not have been pretty when they did._

_"I thought you were angry with him?" Paisley asked her voice coming out indifferent which finally got Avery to look at her and all she saw was a mask on Paisley's face._

_Paisley was doing her best at hiding whatever she was feeling which might have been the best for now. Even if it meant prolonging some sort of argument._

_"I am or I was, I don't know," Avery sighed as she sat down at the kitchen table. "You know I have a hard time staying mad at people and he did promise we'd stay civil with each other at lunch, no matter what was said."_

_Now it was Paisley who nodded her head, her face a mask of sorts still. "Which means you plan on talking about Kim again, right? That's the only way things wouldn't stay civil."_

_"Yeah, we're going to talk about her," Avery admitted with a sheepish smile. "Like I said Ethan promised to stay civil if I did," she shrugged and she really believed he meant it when he said that. "Do you think I shouldn't bring up the topic of Kim again?" she asked not even sure why she was._

_They both knew in the end no matter what Paisley said, Avery would do what felt best for her. Avery was just that stubborn. It was the Hanson in her._

_"Does it matter what I think?" Paisley asked Avery her voice going past calm and raising just a tiny bit._

_"It matters to me," Avery defended with a frown. "It always matters to me what you think."_

_"Yet you'll still do what you want," Paisley laughed bitterly as she ran a hand through her hair. "But if you want my honest opinion, I think you should stay out of Ethan's relationship with Kim. So what if he isn't truly in love with her. Let him figure it out and their engagement crumble apart on it's own."_

_Going silent at Paisley's words, Avery found herself unable to say anything to the girl she loved. Not sure what there was to even say really. Paisley had said what she had needed to say and now Avery just had to take it into consideration even if she didn't do what Paisley said._

_After all she was stubborn and again like Paisley had said she'd do what she wanted. Even if what she wanted wasn't what she should do._

_"Like I said," Paisley continued in Avery's silence. "You'll do what you want so it doesn't matter what I think. Though I do wonder if you'd do the same if it were me."_

_Shaking her head Avery couldn't help but glare, "That isn't true," she told her with a sigh. "When you were with Sloan I tried to get you to chose between us before you married her. In the end you chose her," she said knowing she had tried. She had fucking tried and Paisley hadn't listened or chosen her._

_She'd chosen Sloan and thus she had to learn from that mistake._

_"That was before you fell in love with Ethan," Paisley snapped again sounding bitter. "I highly doubt you'd do the same thing now."_

_Before she could say anything else though, Paisley had turned to leave and all Avery could do was frown. Not having wanted to part on these terms this afternoon._

_But maybe after lunch she could make it up to her or at least she hoped she could. She'd try anyway._

***

"How was lunch with Zac?" Ethan asked that night as he and Avery stood in the kitchen cleaning up after dinner. "I know it had to mean a lot that he made a surprise visit to see you," he added on, not saying that their surprise visits or lunches together would come to a stop once she and Ethan moved to New York.

It wasn't like he'd only be an hour and so many minutes away. No it'd be like when she lived in California and her family was many hours and many miles away.

But hopefully she and Zac could still make time to see each other. He and Kate had found ways to visit her in California and even now with Mac who was living in California he found ways to see the family. Maybe not as often as they'd all like but he still found ways.

"It was okay," Avery shrugged with a small smile. "We talked about you though most of the time."

"You talked about me?" Ethan asked faking mock scandal. "Hopefully it was all good things. I'd hate to think you ruined my reputation with your brother who hates me."

Rolling her eyes Avery couldn't help but laugh, "He doesn't hate you. In fact that is what we talked about," she told him as her smile grew. "I probably shouldn't have told him how you felt but I did because I wanted confirmation that he doesn't hate you."

"And he said as much?" Ethan asked her and as he spoke Avery heard a fearfulness now in his tone. Any of his playfulness having left him now.

"He did," Avery told Ethan with a smile not sure if it would ease his mind but it was something at least. "He said if he hated you he wouldn't have gave me away at our wedding," she said as she dried her hands once they were done washing dishes.

Ethan went silent as he nodded his head and Avery knew from the look on his face he was contemplating her words and she hoped that he believed them. That deep inside he knew or came to realize Zac didn't dislike him.

No one in her family disliked him except her mother but her mother also now disliked Avery as well and that was one reason she hadn't seen her mother since she was eighteen.

"Well I'm glad to know I was wrong about him," Ethan finally spoke and Avery saw a smile on his face then and she could only hope that meant his mind had been set at ease.

"I'm glad I could help you realize that," Avery muttered before leaning in and kissing Ethan on the cheek. "Now how about we go to bed because this soon to be mama is tired," she said with an exaggerated yawn.

Truth was she wasn't that tired. She just wanted any excuse to get Ethan upstairs and into their bedroom so she could have her way with him. After all being pregnant had made her hornier than she normally was.

"Bed?" Ethan asked skeptically as he turned his head with a smile. "I think that's just an excuse to get me in bed."

"Maybe it is," Avery admitted as she batted her eyelashes. "Is it working? Will you go to bed with me?"

Ethan pursed his lips before leaning in to peck Avery's lips softly. "I'll definitely go to bed with you," he muttered before kissing her and this time the kiss was longer than a peck.

Avery not complaining because she did love kisses from her husband and he had agreed to fuck her too so she was just winning all around tonight.


	3. I love you, ain't that the worst thing you ever heard

Opening her eyes in a hotel bed Avery stretched as much as she could. As much as her belly would allow her too anyway. Three weeks had passed since Ethan had been in New York and now both she and Ethan were here. He was here to show her the places he had looked at.

They were going to look at potential houses and then later tonight they were going to be having dinner with some of his New York friends. Ethan having already told her last night that Paisley would be there and Avery hated to admit that she was nervous about seeing Paisley.

She hadn't seen the girl since everything ended between them and what if things were weird? Or what if they got back into old habits?

Avery hoped that didn't happen. She was married to Ethan and she loved him, she swore he was the one and they were finally getting their happy ending. Their second chance at what they had lost after she had miscarried their first child all those years ago.

But hadn't she once thought that with Paisley too when they were reunited for a third time. Hadn't she once thought that third times were the charm.

Then they had just drifted apart after Avery had told Paisley everything about her and Ethan before her third go round with Paisley. Avery had been honest and it had cost them that future she had said she wanted with Paisley. A future that maybe really had never been meant to be anyway.

Maybe she had always been meant to marry Ethan and have his baby and live in New York. It felt right, more so than anything else she had ever done.

"You're awake," Ethan muttered from where he lay beside her and Avery turned her head to look at him, seeing his eyes still shut. "I can hear your awake and thinking breathing," he teased as he finally opened his eyes. Their eyes locking then.

His green eyes on her brown ones and god she really hoped their baby got his eyes.

" I don't have an awake and thinking breathing," Avery told him with a roll of her eyes. "I just have a breathing pattern like everyone else."

Ethan shook his head at her words, "No, you're awake and thinking breathing is deeper than your regular breathing. It's more of a sigh really and you were sighing for a long time," he spoke as if he knew everything about her and at this rate maybe he did. "What was on your mind?"

Taking a deep breath Avery sat up some as she looked away from his gaze. "Tonight," she revealed figuring that said it all.

By tonight what she had really meant was seeing Paisley.

Ethan nodded his head as he went silent and if she had a thinking style of breathing, Ethan for sure had a thinking face. He was using it right now.

"Now you're thinking," Avery said in his silence. "Are you thinking about tonight too?"

"Yeah," Ethan admitted not even sounding ashamed for it. "I'm wondering why you are so scared of seeing Paisley," he said and Avery blushed because once again Ethan proved that he knew her so well.

He knew she was scared of running into Paisley when all she said was that she was thinking of tonight.

"I guess I'm scared because I know the history between her and I," Avery frowned. "What if we fall back into old habits? What if I ruin our marriage E?" she questioned him with a raised eyebrow.

Ethan let out a small laugh and Avery wanted to reach over and slap his arm. Ask him why he was laughing when her situation felt so dire.

The last thing she wanted was to break her husband's heart or ruin her family before her baby was even born.

"You're not going to fall into old habits," Ethan spoke reassuring her of things that he seemed so sure of. "You're not the same woman who loved Paisley so much that at times it seemed toxic," he said as he leaned down, his forehead resting against hers. "And I really hope she isn't the same woman who would ruin us," he said softly as they locked eyes again.

It was only when he was addressing Paisley that he had any doubt in him. Ethan didn't doubt her but he did doubt Paisley and what type of person she was now.

"I love you," Avery whispered as she leaned in to kiss him briefly on the lips, not even caring about morning breath right now. All she cared about was kissing him and showing him that she loved him in whatever small way that she could.

"I know," Ethan smiled as he pulled away from the kiss slowly like he hadn't wanted to break away from her. "Now how about we shower together before we go look at places?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow and all Avery could do was nod.

A shower with her husband sounded nice.

***

_Sitting at the restaurant where she was supposed to meet Ethan for lunch, Avery did her best to ignore the argument she had with Paisley before leaving but it was hard. What Paisley had said hurt and it hadn't been fair._

_Not when she had been wrong because Avery had tried to stop her from marrying Sloan just like she was trying to do with Ethan when it came to Kim and if it was Paisley now and Paisley were with Sloan and Avery knew she was making a mistake she'd still fight for her not to do it._

_Regardless of her having once fallen in love with Ethan._

_Everyone needed help when they were about to fuck their lives up majorly and that was what Avery felt Ethan was going to do if he married Kim when he didn't love her. When he didn't look at her like she was the one for him._

_She just hated that Paisley seemed to have issues now. Issues that Avery was sure she wouldn't have if Avery hadn't told her about her past with Ethan last night. Avery should have just lied but no, Paisley deserved the truth and she was done lying in her relationships with people._

_Lies did no one any good._

_Coming out of her thoughts when she saw someone sit down across from her, Avery blushed when she saw Ethan. Hating that she had been so wrapped into her head and thoughts that she had missed him coming in and to the table._

_"You looked like you checked out and just came back when I got to the table," Ethan spoke and Avery's blush grew. "Bad day already or something?"_

_"Or something," Avery revealed hating how much it seemed Ethan could read her but maybe that was how it worked with someone who was your best friend. Someone who you once loved so deeply and someone who knew you inside and out._

_"Want to talk about it?"_

_Avery shook her head, "We didn't come here to talk about my issues. We came to talk about you," she told him knowing the last thing she needed to do was confide in him about her relationship problems._

_If Paisley found out it would make things worse and that was not what needed to happen._

_Ethan only gave Avery a look that let Avery know whether she wanted it or not they'd eventually come back to her issues._

_"Fine, let's talk about me," Ethan agreed with a nod of his head but before they could say anything else the waiter showed up and both of them gave their drink order._

_Avery getting a tea and Ethan getting a sprite._

_After the waiter had left things remained silent for a few seconds longer before Ethan spoke up again. "You don't like Kim or that I am marrying her."_

_"It's not about not liking Kim," Avery retorted with a shake of her head. "I like her well enough. It's just that you aren't in love with her. Your eyes don't shine when you look at her and smile."_

_Ethan raised an eyebrow as he looked at her like he was confused by her words but he shouldn't be since they had, had this same conversation last night._

_"And?" Ethan finally asked like it was no issue that he didn't love her like he should. "Kim loves me enough for the both of us and shouldn't that be enough? I can work on how I feel towards her as the years go by."_

_"That's not fair to her," Avery replied with a shake of her head. "So no, that isn't enough."_

_"Well maybe it will have to be for everyone I ever get with if it doesn't work with Kim. No one is going to be the one for me when the one who I think is my one is engaged to someone else," Ethan replied and their was a snip to his words._

_He had promised not to get angry but his anger was coming out some._

_"Gideon is engaged to be married?" Avery questioned because of course her mind would go to him. She may have once been engaged to Ethan as well. She may have once been someone he considered the one and looked at her with shiny eyes when he smiled but Gideon was his first love._

_You never got over first loves did you? That was why she was always so pathetically gone for Paisley._

_Before Ethan could answer her though the waiter came back with their drinks and they soon gave their food order. Ethan getting some chicken dish and Avery getting a dish with bacon and ham and almost all the meat products._

_"I thought you were a vegan," Ethan said after the waiter left and there he went, ignoring what she had asked him._

_"I was but I am eating meat again. Pai is the vegan," Avery answered with a shrug. "You didn't answer what I asked. Gideon is engaged too?"_

_Ethan shook his head as he locked eyes with Avery, "No," he told her and his words made her heartbeat faster. "I meant you Avery. You're the one who I feel is my one and you're engaged to Paisley so I have to deal with that don't I? I have to try and settle for someone else and learn to love them if I can."_

***

Standing in front of the sink with a towel wrapped around her or as best as she could get one wrapped around her bump, Avery finished brushing her teeth. Smiling some when she felt Ethan wrap his arms around her, one of his hands resting right where their baby was moving up a storm today.

"Have I said I love you today?" Ethan asked as he kissed her shoulder softly, causing goosebumps to form on her body. "And that I love our baby girl so much," he said like he was so sure it was a girl she was carrying.

She wished she was that sure but she wasn't. Boys ran rampant in her family.

"Maybe once or twice but I'd be up to hearing it again," Avery smiled as she closed her eyes and let herself relax in Ethan's arms. "I love you too by the way," she added on because she did love him.

She loved Ethan and she needed him to know that, no matter how she felt for Paisley or what thoughts she had. It was Ethan who had her heart and she truly didn't want to mess that up and ruin it. Not when they were married with a baby on the way.

"Good to know," Ethan whispered as he let his lips trail up to her neck where he kissed at the skin. "Because I love you so so much darling," he muttered out as he pressed himself up against her and through the thin material of the towel she could tell how hard he was.

He was hard and wanting her and Avery wasn't sure if they had time to have sex but she wanted him too.

Turning in his arms Avery locked eyes with him, "I want you E," she told him as her voice got all seductive then. "Need you inside me and showing me just how much you love me," she said before she moved in to kiss him on the lips this time. A small squeak leaving her mouth and falling into his when he found a way to pick her up and sit her on the edge of the sink.

She was bigger now and she was surprised at how easily he could pick her up.

"I think I can do that," Ethan spoke as he broke away from the kiss, their eyes locking and as she swallowed hard at the look of pure lust in his eyes he was inching the towel she had on up. 

A moan slipping out as his hands slid between her legs to rub at her softly, getting her wetter than what she already was and as he did that she reached out to undo his towel. Her hand wrapping around his cock to stroke him, loving it when he let out his own moan and if he wanted to get her even more worked up before they fucked she could do the same thing to him.

After all she'd had enough practice doing that over the years.

Letting her hand fall off his cock after awhile Avery pulled away from the kiss as she looked at Ethan, "Now, please," she muttered out hating the way she was begging now it seemed but she needed more than his hand between her legs.

Avery needed her husband's cock inside of her.

"As you wish," Ethan replied with a smirk as his hands moved away and before Avery could even whine at the loss of friction Ethan was spreading her legs further apart with his hands and soon sliding inside of her wet cunt. 

Avery's eyes falling shut at how good it felt to have his cock inside of her. How good it felt to feel this complete with someone.

"I love you," Avery muttered as she leaned in to kiss him again. A moan falling out of her mouth when he began to move in her finally, keeping his movements slow like they had nowhere to be, like they had all the time in the world when really they didn't.

Not when they had to go look at condos today and places that may be their forever place to live here in New York.

***

_"I'm really the one you think is the one?" Avery asked Ethan as both of them stood at her car after lunch. Neither of them had broached the subject after he had said what he did. Instead they had ignored it like an awkward elephant in the room._

_Avery though, now she didn't want to ignore it._

_"Yeah," Ethan nodded his head with a resigned look on his face. "I really think that."_

_"But how come you never told me before now?" Avery asked him with a raised eyebrow._

_"Would it have changed anything once you were back with Paisley?" Ethan questioned her and Avery blushed because she knew it wouldn't have. "Paisley is someone you love so deeply that you'd never walk away from her, not even for me."_

_Swallowing hard Avery realized then that she had a lump in her throat and tears building in her eyes. "But I once agreed to marry you E," she sighed because that had to prove how much she did come to love him. She had fallen into the type of love she couldn't recover from._

_The type she had once told Gideon she would fall into with him if she let herself fall for him._

_"Yeah because you were pregnant and then you lost the baby and you know what happened. We fell apart and you ran to her," Ethan said and she knew just the way he said it that he was angry. "Though not that I can blame you with the way she wouldn't let up even when she knew you were with me."_

_Looking down Avery felt the tears in her eyes come down and she ran a hand through her hair instead of wiping the tears away._

_"I didn't...it wasn't just because I was pregnant that I said yes," Avery confessed as she stayed looking away from Ethan. "I said yes because I loved you. I loved you and I wanted to marry you and I hate every day that we fell apart and there is so much I wish I could change about what happened during that time," she sighed knowing by speaking these words she felt like she was betraying Paisley but they needed to be said. "I..god if you had told me then that I was it for you I would have left Paisley and I would have came back to you. I would have fought harder for us and I wouldn't have ended things after you had cheated."_

_Ethan seemed to frown at her words and wordlessly he reached out and pulled her into him. Avery closed her eyes as she rested her head against his chest, inhaling the scent that was wholly Ethan._

_It was a scent she knew well and a scent that was almost something that seemed like home._

_"I still love you E," she confessed and she knew those words were the biggest betrayal that she could do to Paisley. But the words were the truth._

_Avery still loved Ethan and there was no denying that at least not to herself._

_"But you'll never leave Pai," Ethan spoke and his words made Avery lift her head to look at him. "And I'm not the type of man to ask you to do that. If it happens I want it to happen naturally," he told her and Avery knew he had a point._

_She was tired of being a cheater and she didn't want Ethan to be the person asking her to leave Paisley when besides loving him there was nothing wrong with her relationship right now. After all, she loved the woman she was engaged too as well and sometimes in life you had to choose which love meant more or which love came easier and right now it felt like her love with Paisley just came easier._

_"I think it's probably best we don't see each other again for a bit Avie, just to give us a break after what has happened this week," Ethan said and his words felt like daggers to her heart and that was probably why more tears started to go down her cheek. "You can still come out to California this summer like we had planned," he said with a head nod as he let his thumb come up to wipe some of her tears away._

_"Would that be enough time to get over what happened this week?" Avery asked him not even caring that her voice cracked when she spoke._

_Her heart was breaking for reasons that she couldn't control. For reasons that she wished she could control._

_"I think so," Ethan stated like he wasn't sure. "Even if it's not I'm still going to want to see you darling. I'm always going to want to see you eventually," he sighed and his words seemed to cut her._

_It was how she always felt about him and it was how she used to feel about Paisley at least until after Paisley had married Sloan and she had to move on._

_Until she had fallen into a love with Ethan that she wasn't sure she had ever really recovered from._

_Nodding her head Avery swallowed around a lump again, "Okay," she said softly and after she spoke a silence settled between her and Ethan. A silence that didn't seem like it was going to end and that was probably why after a few minutes Ethan moved to walk away, Avery letting out a sigh when he did._

_"Ethan," she said again, watching as he stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her. "I love you," she said again just wanting to remind him of that._

_Ethan nodded his head as he gave her a bittersweet smile, "I know" he said and after he spoke he turned and finished walking away from her. Avery just watching him go and once he was in his own car she just leaned against hers and closed her eyes._

_She'd get in her car in a minute, she just needed time to compose herself first._


End file.
